Roller Coasters
May 31st, 2008 by admin
I was doing so well for a while. However, with the end of the quarter looming ahead and Kory’s impending graduation from eighth grade (!), I haven’t been paying much attention. But yesterday, we took a break from the grind and met up with my sisters and my niecii for a day of fun and sunburn at King’s Island.
This was Kory’s first visit to KI, and I haven’t been since high school, that I can recall. This was also destined to be the day that Kory rode his first roller coaster.
He wasn’t having it at first. Vicki, Chip, Kory and I left the little ones with Karen (who was admirably non-grouchy considering her status as pregnant-woman-in-80-degree-heat-with-cranky-toddlers) and Amy so they could nap (ha!) and we could hit the big rides. Well, so they could hit the big rides and I could hold their stuff. I don’t do coasters anymore – old age has turned me into a sissy. I only ride stuff like this:
We first tried to forcibly assist Kory on to the Beast, but he snuck out of line and back to where I was waiting, where I proceeded to call him a chicken (pot, meet kettle) and tease him mercilessly. While they waited in line for their thrilling ride, I bribed Kory into agreeing to ride two coasters by telling him I’d buy him board shoes, whatever those are (I’m told it has something to do with skateboarding). Hey, he needs new shoes anyway. The soles are falling off his current pair.
What do teenage boys DO to their shoes? I swear he never has any last longer than six months, and it ain’t because he’s growing out of them. But I digress.
After careful contemplation of all of the coasters (when he lamented the lack of his beloved Internet to help make the choice) Kory decided he would ride the Racer. The second coaster was to be of Chip’s choosing, but we’ll get to that.
Chip gallantly waited with me while so I could bite my nails while Vicki took Kory on the ride. I wish I had a photo of the look on his face as the cars began to move. It was one of abject fear, as he shook his head slowly from one side to the other. “Help me,” whimpered The Look. Too late to change his mind now, though and off they went.
This is what I saw coming down the exit ramp:
Chip said he wasn’t mean enough to photograph a sick child, but I sure am. Plus I had a sneaking suspicion that he was faking.
Which he was:
After that, the kid was addicted.
All told, he rode the Racer, Son of Beast, and Beast. We have a picture from the Son of Beast that is utterly priceless, and I’ll post it as soon as we get the scanner working. I TOLD Chip that he could make him ride the Vortex or one of the other upside-down freaky coasters, per our deal, but he was feeling magnanimous yesterday.
And Chip had a grand time taking videos, and I will post them just as soon as he teaches me how. 
While we were out and about, I bought gigantic lollipops for the girls, because I’m a mean sister, but a very nice aunt. It was payback for the Barney phone Karen got Kory when he was little. I don’t do Barney.
See that furrowed brow thing Katie does? Pure Amy.
And Kory won me a little pillow on his first try playing this bowling ball game, which made Chip proud since it’s the only thing on the planet he isn’t good at.
Vicki hung out with us a while longer while Karen and Amy took the kiddos back to their hotel, and let me tell you, that woman is fun-ny when she’s tired. She and Chip spoke in a thick Irish brogue all the way back to the hotel, and my sides still hurt from laughing. Good times.
Jennifer wrote on 05/31/08 at 5:28 pm :
I LOVE Kings Island and all of the rides! I am so jealous as I have not been there for years! I’m amazed at how big Kory has gotten. I am also quite pleased that he liked the coasters–too fun!
angela wrote on 05/31/08 at 5:45 pm :
What used to be Hannah Barbara Land is now Nickolodian (sp?) Universe, and they have all sorts of fun stuff for Jonathan, including a Backyardigans ride, although he might be too wee for that. Let me know if you want to go – we only live 35 minutes from there and could meet you for the day – you could come up and crash here after if you don’t feel like driving back.
Kory wrote on 05/31/08 at 6:25 pm :
You forgot the other half of the bribe, the deck for my board:) *rolls eyes* mothers.
Bryan wrote on 05/31/08 at 8:56 pm :
HA! Called out by your son!! I’m so getting this back in Karma. Good luck on the deck for your board. HA! JBF out! JBF
angela wrote on 05/31/08 at 10:20 pm :
You just wait until it’s YOUR son rolling his eyes at YOU. Talk about karma.
Bryan wrote on 06/1/08 at 9:23 pm :
But its not me NOW! HA!!!!
JBF
angela wrote on 06/2/08 at 9:57 am :
I’ll check back with you in ten years to see if you’re still laughing.
chiplynch.com » You Tube, Roller Coasters, and Theme Park Visits wrote on 06/4/08 at 2:56 pm :
[...] Ang has a far more detailed write up of our trip to King’s Island than I’d ever dare write, but the streaming video is only available here! (Such is the division of labor between an English Major and a Computer Science Major): [...]
Angelpoop » Blog Archive » Beast wrote on 05/25/09 at 5:35 pm :
[...] promised to post this photo forever ago, and here it finally is! I hope to never see this look on my son’s face other than on a [...]